I’d like to suggest an experiment.
This Saturday, visit the affluent neighborhoods of your choice, whether it’s Chelsea in New York City or Buckhead in Atlanta.
Ask ten people who are well dressed if they think of themselves as rich.
They will laugh nervously and wait to see if they are joking, before they say something like:
“Um… I mean, I would not say that I am rich. I don’t have a mansion, or anything. I would say that I am probably upper-middle.
“Upper-middle class.“
Isn’t that the perfect word? As a matter of fact, no one wants their class to be perceived as snobby . Being poor is worse than being perceived as rich. Richness is antagonizing and elitist.
You know you can’t say you’re middle class when you have an outfit that costs more than the average rent in East Village.
It might be possible to say ” upper middle class?
It’s a little blue-collar. It implies that you have earned the lifestyle. It’s not too comfy. “I live a comfortable lifestyle, but not too .” “I may vacation in Europe but I don’t fly first class.”
“Upper-middle class.”
I have played the upper middle class card over the years. As someone who was raised in a large house, had a truck when he turned 16, and didn’t really need to worry about money, as a child, I did not.
As Eminem sang in the critically-acclaimed song Love the Way You Lied: “I can’t really tell you what this is. I can only describe how it feels.”
What does mean by “upper middle class”?
The Pew Research Center defines “middle-class” as those earning between two thirds and twice the median American household income of $70,784 by 2021.
The middle class in the United States is defined as households that earn between $47.189 and $141,568. However, this number will vary depending on where you are located. The middle class of the San Francisco-Oakland-Berkeley area is $77,000 – $232,000, for example.
These measures apply to all incomes. In the US, the median income of a single-person household is $46,000, while in San Francisco Bay, it’s $70,000. This means that people earning between $30.670 and $92,000, and $46,700 and $140,000, are considered middle class.
DQYDJ offers a tool that allows you to calculate your income percentile by combining your household size and location. The results are quite impressive.
You are in the 80th per centile if you earn over $115,000 and live in greater New York.
It is the same if you make $142,000 in San Francisco Bay:
This tool does not give the complete picture. For example, the cost of living is vastly different in Newark compared to downtown Manhattan. You get the idea. Income required to be in the “upper classes” is lower than you might think.
Let’s go back to the “upper middle class”
Upper-middle-class is not defined by Pew, but I would say it should be 1.5 to 2.5 times the median income.
How did you select these parameters? Vibes, primarily.
If the median incomes of single households in San Francisco, New York, and the US are respectively $46,000, $70,000 and $52,000, then the “upper middle class” is defined as $69,000 ( nice ) – 115,000, $105,000 to $175,000 and $78,000 to $130,000.
You’re rich if you earn more than that.
If you ask someone earning $180,000 in San Francisco, or $150,000 in New York, if they are rich, they will laugh at you. Or at the very least, chuckle nervously while they wait to see whether you are joking.
“I wouldn’t call myself rich. I don’t have a mansion, or anything. I would say that I am probably upper-middle.
What’s the deal with this disconnect between perception and reality, then? Why don’t people who are objectively wealthy feel rich?
This disconnect is not unique to me. This post was inspired by Nick Maggiulli’s Is a $200k Income a Good One? And Nick wrote this piece as a response to a readers question.
I personally believe that the gap between perception and reality is a result of two factors.
We believe that first, being perceived as wealthy is bad. You want to succeed, but not look like you have already won.
We are tribalistic and want to belong to the group. You’re out of the group as soon as you become “rich”. The enemy. You must be one of the “1%”. Your net worth came at someone else’s cost, right? You are responsible for the increasing wealth inequality in America! You are the main antagonist of society.
In a silly Nintendo analogy: No one cares who is in second place when playing Mario Kart. As soon as you reach the top, everyone will be after you. Whatever you want, blue shells or red shells. Everyone wants to knock back your head.
It is in your best interests to not appear “rich” or at the very least not to be wealthy.
We have a distorted perception of wealth and social status, because we only compare ourselves with our closest friends, not the broader community.
You probably live with people who make $75,000. You choose restaurants and bars to suit your lifestyle of $75,000 per annum, go on vacations worth $75,000, and drive $75,000 cars.
You will then make $150,000. You can also add your house, your dining habits, your vacation spots, your hobbies and social group to the $150,000 circle.
It doesn’t stop.
You may end up in a situation like the one below (thanks to Paul Millerd who shared this). This is when you’re on the brink of a nervous break because you don’t know how you will make the $700,000.
It’s not surprising that people believe they’re in the “upper middle class” when it’s to their advantage to appear “poor”, when you upgrade your social group as you move up the socio-economic scale, and when spending grows at a rate of 1:1 with your income.
You can’t be rich if there’s always someone else richer.
